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"I should infinitely prefer a book." -- Chapter 39, Pride and Prejudice
"...I wish my collection were larger for your benefit and my own credit..." -- Chapter 8, Pride and Prejudice
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Wednesday, August 3, 2022

Deliberation and Doubt, Chapter 13

“Papa,” Elizabeth said as she entered Mr. Bennet's library, “may I speak to Mr. Darcy for a few minutes?”

Darcy turned and smiled as he stood. Then his smile faltered as he noticed the solemn expression on Elizabeth's face.

“I wonder what topic you mean to discuss,” said Mr. Bennet. “Our eventful day has only increased the possibilities. Shall it be the wedding? Mr. Collins? Or perhaps Lady Catherine?”

Darcy felt mortification settle over him, not for the first time that day. “I cannot apologise enough for my aunt—”

“No need for your endless apologies, sir,” said Mr. Bennet, hands raised. “Lady Catherine seems the sort of woman one could tell the same thing to every day of the week, and she still would not alter her opinion. In that way she reminds me of my wife as regards her understanding, or lack thereof, of the entail on Longbourn. Your aunt's expectations are not your fault, and neither are her impudence and incivility. I certainly take no blame for the ignorant opinions of Mrs. Bennet.”

Mr. Bennet smiled then. Darcy could not make himself return it.

With a glance at Elizabeth, Mr. Bennet said something of the tedium of young lovers and sent them on their way.

No one was pretending to accomplish any work after the day's contretemps, so instead of going to the parlour and busying herself with her work basket while they talked, Elizabeth led Darcy to a room he had taken a liking to during his frequent visits to Longbourn. The room was not very large. Though neat enough, more than once it had seemed to hold a new item when he entered it, as if each time this or that small piece of furniture, painting, or figurine was deemed no longer suitable for another room, it was stored here while its fate was decided. What Darcy liked most about the space was its stillness. The room was out of the way, and he and Elizabeth were rarely interrupted therein.

Elizabeth had not sat down. She stood at the window with her back to him and remained in that posture when she spoke.

“Do you have any experience in advising someone who wishes to dissolve an engagement?”

The question took him quite by surprise, and he could not stop the sound that escaped him.

She turned around at once, looking concerned. “Oh, no! I am sorry. I did not mean Miss...” 'Miss Darcy,' she mouthed. “That...arrangement,” she said in a low voice, “was never sanctioned in the first place. I speak of an engagement that has the approval of the lady's parents and is known in her community.”

Darcy did not move. He could not. He was overcome with a sense of loss. She did not want him. He had overstepped; he had brought with him the burden of unpalatable relations in the form of his aunt; he had ruined everything. He could barely meet Elizabeth's eyes. He concentrated on calming his thoughts and keeping his voice from shaking. “Y-You...” he said finally, stammering despite his efforts. He swallowed. “You do not want to marry me.”

“No, no!” she said, shaking her head, seemingly with amusement. “That is not...” She caught his glance and gasped, and her hand flew up to cover her lips. “I mean, yes, my love! Of course I want to marry you!” She ran to the door. Before Darcy could despair that she was fleeing his presence, she shut the door and came to him. She clutched at his hands, reached for his face, and then, taking his hands again, she led him to a seat, forced him down onto it, and placed herself in his lap. She kissed and caressed his face, and then she kissed his mouth with such abandon that all his doubts fled.

“I thought I had better make my sentiments clear without words,” she said at length, smiling at him. “I was not alluding to myself when I spoke of ending an engagement.”

Darcy felt as if a miserable fog had cleared and a rather pleasant one had settled over him in its place. Although he would rather have kissed Elizabeth again, he considered her words, and he was immediately confused by them.

“No, not Jane, either,” Elizabeth said, cutting off his nascent thought in that direction. “My sister is even happier than she looks.” Elizabeth's smile disappeared. “It is Charlotte I spoke of.”

Of course! To whom else could she have referred? Charlotte Lucas was a sensible woman, despite her decision to accept Mr. Collins's proposal. That sense apparently had come to the fore in the wake of Mr. Collins's recent actions.

Darcy gathered Elizabeth to his chest and held her, still a little raw from his misapprehension. “She wants to avoid both scandal and Mr. Collins.”

“Yes.” Elizabeth settled more comfortably in his embrace. “Can it be done?”

“It would be easier if her parents were to withdraw their approval of the match. I imagine there is no hope of that?”

“Probably not.”

“Is she willing to leave Meryton?”

“I am sure she is. She was willing to leave it as Mrs. Collins.”

Darcy felt her shudder, and he briefly tightened his embrace in sympathy. “It would be for the best. If she is at odds with her family over this matter, it may be a long time before she is comfortable again at Lucas Lodge.” He thought of Mr. Collins, and then suddenly of Derbyshire, and he shook his head and chuckled when he realised why.

“What amuses you?” Elizabeth asked, turning to look into his face.

“I was thinking of the differences between Mr. Collins and Mr. Collier. Their names and vocations may be their only similarities. Collier has the living at Kympton. He is a rather quiet, cheerful fellow, though he is not afraid to speak his mind. Sensible man.” He shifted in his seat. Elizabeth began to rise, but Darcy stayed her by holding her at the waist. She continued to look at him. He touched his nose to hers and moved his head back before he could become distracted wholly by her. “I think I shall write Collier. He has a sister that married to disoblige her family, and he has not cut ties with her. Perhaps he will have some wisdom to apply to your friend's circumstance.”

“The two clergymen must be very different. I cannot imagine Mr. Collins having wisdom to apply to anyone's circumstance.” Elizabeth stood. Darcy reached for her, but she playfully moved his hands aside and told him to stay where he was. “I have to think,” she said, laughing, and she began to pace.

Darcy watched, at once fascinated and alert and aware of a deep satisfaction.

“Perhaps Mama will allow Charlotte to stay here until the wedding if her situation becomes untenable at home.”

Darcy had wondered the same himself, but he was glad he had not suggested the idea. He had not wanted to risk further presumption this day.

Elizabeth was not done. “And I may dare to ask aunt Gardiner to offer her sanctuary for a time.” She looked cautiously at him as she said this.

He raised an eyebrow and waited, holding his expression as long as he could. It was sweet to watch her hint and hope, as unwilling to presume as he had been. At last her unaccustomed reticence pulled him out of his own silence. He tried to keep his mouth from twitching into a smile, but he could not gauge his success. “You may dare,” he said, “though there would be little need. As Mrs Darcy, you might offer sanctuary at Pemberley to a dozen of your friends before we feel the crush. It would be more of a challenge to accommodate as many at the London house, but—”

He felt the breath knocked out of him as Elizabeth collided with him, and once more they were in each other's arms, laughing this time between quick kisses.

Elizabeth pulled away almost as suddenly as she had so sweetly assaulted his person. She turned her back to him. “I do not know what has come over me,” she said. “I feel unlike myself. I am not normally inclined to be so...physical. I feel I have imposed upon you.”

“Not at all!” Unlike herself, had she said? In his opinion, she was being exactly herself. What a woman he had chosen! What a woman who had chosen him! She cared deeply for her family. She was not satisfied to stand idly by when trouble arose; instead, she applied her cleverness in the service of her friends. And even though she knew he loved her, she did not wish to take advantage of him. She cared for him too much for that.

Without doubt, he was a fortunate man.

“It has been a trying day,” he said when she had not turned towards him by the end of his reverie. He walked over to her and touched her cheek. “Not many weeks from now, we will have the freedom of a husband and wife to be as—what did you say?—physical as we like with one another.” He smiled at her, imagining them so. “I look forward to that very much. Even then, I hope you will not grow so comfortable and proper with me that you never allow yourself to surprise me with the occasional aggressively affectionate gesture.”

Her laugh delighted him, and they left the room holding hands.

Some days later, Darcy stood near Elizabeth while she conversed quietly with her aunt Gardiner, who had come with her family to Longbourn for Christmas. Darcy was enjoying coming to know the Gardiners. He thought them amiable and knowledgeable and very agreeable company. Their children's manners and behaviour, in Darcy's opinion, were indicative of caring and intelligent parents. The Bennets, especially Miss Bennet, doted on the young Gardiners. He imagined Georgiana would be just as taken with them. She and Mrs. Annesley were to arrive soon, now that Darcy had assured himself there was little chance of Wickham's returning to Meryton.

“Were you not to be married,” said Mrs. Gardiner to Elizabeth, “I would have asked you or Jane to return with us in January, but I think you both had better stay.” The lady caught Darcy's eye for a moment and grinned before turning back to her niece. “I do not think I can convince Mary to leave her home.”

“And Kitty and Lydia?” Elizabeth asked.

“Do you really want there to be no peace at Longbourn? If I take Kitty, Lydia will be insufferable!”

“And if you take both, you will not have time to tend to your own children, for my youngest sisters require too much minding.”

They chuckled ruefully at this unfortunate truth.

“I mention it at all,” Mrs. Gardiner continued, “because your friend seems to be in an awkward situation. Do you think Miss Lucas would like to spend some time in town?”

“Oh, Aunt!” Elizabeth embraced Mrs. Gardiner. Beaming, she turned to Darcy. “See, Fitzwilliam! I did not even have to ask it of her! Is not my aunt wonderful? I will find Charlotte now.”

Miss Lucas might have been anywhere in the house, for she had been at pains to make herself useful while residing with the Bennets, despite the family's insistence that such efforts were unnecessary. She had dined with them but had not been present when he and Bingley had rejoined the ladies. Darcy's eyes followed Elizabeth's form as she nearly scampered off in her excitement, and then he turned his attention to Mrs. Gardiner. “That is exceedingly generous of you,” he said, and he watched the lady duck her head in acknowledgement. “You have known the Lucas family for some time?”

“Quite. It is one of the reasons I feel at liberty to interfere, as it were.”

Darcy smiled. “If Sir William and Lady Lucas take offence, you shall not have to bear their disapproval for very long. I am certain Elizabeth will want her friend with her in town or at Pemberley.”

“I have been married these ten years, but I have not forgotten what it was to be newly wed. We shall be in no hurry to send Miss Lucas away again.”

Darcy quickly turned aside, but he did not try to hide his smile. Still avoiding her gaze, he said, “I suppose you have spoken with Elizabeth enough by now to know how very much the gainer I, rather than she, shall be by this marriage as regards our aunts?”

Mrs. Gardiner laughed. “You may as well call me Marianne as Aunt. We are of an age, are we not? Or nearly. Are you yet shy of thirty?”

“Twenty-eight.”

“Ah. I wish I had had a brother with just that difference in age when I was a girl, one old enough to be a companion but unlikely to question my authority as the elder. My two brothers are very much older.”

“My sister is fifteen,” he said, smiling, “and would likely share your feelings. My cousin Colonel Fitzwilliam is the closest thing I have to a brother. Though a younger son, he is my elder by two years. When we were boys, he would not let me forget it.”

Just then, Mr. Gardiner walked in with Mr. Bennet. “Edward!” Mrs. Gardiner's voice was slightly raised along with her hand. The unguarded affection on her face as she caught the attention of her spouse made Darcy hopeful for his own married life. Ten years from now, would Elizabeth call him to her side with such enthusiasm and fondness? He hoped she would. Better than that, he rather thought she might.

Back at Netherfield, there was a letter for him from Mr. Collier. As he picked it up, he was distracted by footsteps. He looked at Bingley, who shrugged in equal confusion, but all was plain seconds later when two ladies came into view.

“Georgiana!” Darcy put the letter in his pocket and held out his hands to her. “You are early!” He and Bingley exchanged greetings with her and Mrs. Annesley.

“Fitzwilliam!” Georgiana approached him and stopped just short of an embrace. “The weather did not look promising, and we thought it wise to leave today rather than risk being prevented tomorrow. The housekeeper assured us our rooms were ready and it was no trouble. Have we done right?”

“Of course!” Bingley assured her. “We have had any number of rooms ready for several days.”

They all settled into pleasant conversation. Darcy felt vast contentment as he considered new friends and old, the gaieties of the Christmas season, and the serendipity—the providence—of his visit to Netherfield, a circumstance that had been the means of uniting him, most happily, with Miss Elizabeth Bennet.


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